Lecturing Made Easy - Now with two Updates!

I am teaching Food & Culture this summer. A trip to the grocery store makes the lecture on gendered food easy:



I wonder if the Barbie cereal comes with instructions: Pour in bowl, add milk, enjoy, excuse yourself, vomit. Repeat as necessary.

You gotta love the skulls and bones in the Indy cereal. Doesn't that teach our children that cannibalism is ok, though?

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Update: On a more serious note, Sara quite rightly pointed out to me that a skull and bones also appears on poison:


Now if you think about it, small children might be apt to associate skulls and bones with a tasty, sugary treat and consume something toxic.

Maybe it is time to send off an email to Kellogg's.

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Update II: Here is the message I sent to Kellogg's, Consumer Reports, and MSNBC:

I spotted your Indiana Jones cereal at my local supermarket. At first I found the skulls and bones in the cereal amusing. However, on deeper reflection, I am concerned about the similarity between the cereal and the skull and bones which is the universal symbol that denotes poison. A small child might be tempted to consume poison thinking they are getting the sweet treat they previously had in your cereal.

I hope this never happens, but I would urge you to consider recalling the cereal and changing the contents from skulls and bones to mini-treasure chests or something more innocuous.

We'll see if anything comes of it - probably not. I was tempted to suggest changing the skull and bones to mini Lost Arks or Holy Grails, but that would probably be too sacrilegious.

I am at home in between my summer course and my summer "consulting" job. I am incredibly tired and could have used a nap. Instead I used most of my time writing a short note to a friend who posted the following status online:

...unbelievably upset Hillary won the popular vote & not the nomination.

I have not really been political here. However, I have followed the campaign very closely and I have pondered the process. I mainly have not written because I never felt like I had the time or energy to invest in the arduous process of verbalizing the complexity of my thoughts and opinions. So rather than do a superficial or half-assed job, I just left it alone.

My friend's comment just pushed me into writing to her because she is extremely intelligent, however, she was buying into a media promoted rhetorical line. I don't know how she will respond, but it was time I entered into the discussion. So here is my note...

M-
Just wanted to comment on your status. Before I start, I just want to disclose that I am supporting Obama. I was on the fence for a long time, though. And while I did vote for him in the NY primary, I was still quite amenable to either candidate. Recent behavior has soured me towards her, but more her campaign staff. I have always considered Terry McCauliffe a weasel, but that is beyond the point.

Don't fall for campaign rhetoric [propaganda?]. The truth of the matter is that you cannot count up the popular vote the way the primary is structured. Here is why:

1. Caucuses are not regular elections. Thus vote totals are often not even reported, rather they are estimated. However, if you are going to claim to count every vote, you can't ignore those votes.
2. If you are going to count popular votes, the votes need to be cast within a short time frame. There are people who would change their votes later down the line. That is why we have election day not election week or election month.
3. Michigan, which gets included in HRC count, was a mess. You can't honestly believe that no people in MI voted for Obama, Edwards, or any other. Write-in ballots were discarded.

I could go on. The point is that there are countless ways to count the popular vote so that whichever side you are on wins.

The system stinks - it is unclear and complicated. It is not democratic by any means. In fact, it is designed to give the establishment the upper hand. Ironically, before the primary campaign started, there were attempts to streamline and cleanup the system and it was HRC people that blocked that change (Harold Ickes in particular). Why? Because it seemed that the system favored them. They were the establishment. When she started to do poorly, they thought they could rely on the "super-delegates", and it was only when that started to fail, did they begin to advance the "popular vote" line.

Think about this, if HRC has such a strong popular backing, why is it that Obama has been able to greatly out-fund-raise her. More so when you see the bulk of his contributions coming from small donors (i.e. the popular vote).

It has been an ugly campaign and it really has shown the real problems in the system. I hope this pushes the party to change the primary process.

I do feel for Hillary and all her supporters. She has worked hard to get to this point and I can't imagine the disappointment and frustration to have come so close. We are way overdue for more women in leadership at all levels, including the presidency.

I hope you can put your disappointment and frustration into a broader context. Both candidates are advancing the same important issues that the Republicans are trying to minimize. The way the system was set has played its way through and we have a candidate. Trying to change that at this time will only be counter-productive to the broader goals.

I offer you this perspective, rather than think of the number of popular votes each side received, think of the number of total voters that have been engaged and mobilized for the whole party. If we think of ourselves as one group, one movement, one people, then not only will we win in November, but we can begin to address all the issues challenging our country.

Peace!

I hope I am not alone in my optimism. There is always a danger in being an optimist...

My [Crappy] Day in Bullet Points

[Warning: lots of kvetching ahead]

• My "wonderful" day started without Sara - she's in Texas.
• Realized the fridge is kaput and that a good deal of our food in there needed to be thrown out.
• Had to attend some pointless bureaucratic meetings at work - the admin is making us jump through some useless hoops (without really telling us which hoops we need to jump through).
• Stopped to get a small fridge to try to salvage at least some of our food (and because our super will probably get to dealing with our fridge next year).
• They didn't have the size I wanted. I could get a minuscule one or for $10 more, a large one. Opted for the larger one.
• Drove home to quickly walk the dogs
• Took the subway to the Upper West Side
• Had part three of my root canal - still some pain, but managable
• The endodontist decided to push on to try to finish since he didn't want to have to deal with trying to numb me up again.
• Discovered that after sitting 2 hours with your mouth wide - I mean very wide - open your mandible muscles really start to hurt
• Made my way back home, with my face in my lap (again)
• Carried the fridge up to our apartment - kinda wishing I had opted for the smaller one
• Unpacked the fridge and moved things around to find a spot for it
• Cleaned out the old fridge salvaging a few things - happy that I did get the larger fridge so I could salvage more
• Took out the spoiled food
• Walked the dogs
• Prepared for class tomorrow at 9 - ugh...

I don't think I will have trouble sleeping tonight. And I can hope that tomorrow won't be as bad as today!

Teeth - The Sequel

I survived the second installment.

As I write this I am feeling the last drops of anesthetic slowly fade away from my lips to be replaced by the subtle throbbing of my gums and jaw.

Yes there was pain, but no suffering this time. I still needed countless injections, including several straight into the tooth. But we made progress...

Hopefully one more visit - then back to the dentist for a crown.

The amusing part of the day was the praise I got from the endodontist as I was leaving.

"You did really well today! We got most of it out."

What I heard was, "Now weren't you a brave little trooper today. I am so proud of you. Here's a lollipop. Don't forget to brush!"

Good thing I didn't get a lollipop. I could just imagine the sticky mess my slobber would have made in my lap on the subway as my face slid off the side of my cheek.

Of Teeth and Pain

I have been fortunate in my life to have had good teeth and the wherewithal to take care of them. I never had braces and the only fillings I have had were preventative ones where there was a chance that a cavity might occur. Even when resources or time kept me from the dentist for long periods of time, dentists were always amazed on how little work needed to be done.

My mother had bad periodontal diseases when I was a teenager and had to have surgery on her gums. Witnessing that was incentive enough to maintain good oral hygiene: brushing and flossing.

My good fortunes came to an end a few months ago when one of my molars cracked and then chipped off a few days later. I went to the dentist and he filled in the missing part. He said he doubted I would need a root canal, but there was a possibility. There was a little pain, but it slowly went away.

Then I got fairly sick: an unidentifiable illness that started like strep, mutated to a head cold with intense sinus pressure, and ended with a cough. It took several weeks to shake it off, but I was left with swollen glands - and my tooth started to hurt. Not all the time - only when I chewed something hard or when exposed to something cold.

Back to the dentist I went and he informed me that I would probably need a root canal. As I sat in the chair pondering the procedure, he smiled and told me, "Don't look so glum. There are worse things in life than a root canal."

Hmmm.

The dentist referred me to endodontist, who he claimed was very good. I looked him up on line and he seemed to have quite an impressive academic and professional pedigree. Places like Harvard, Tufts, and Columbia were in his past. The guy probably knows his stuff, I though.

The night before I went, I talked to my mother who reassured me that root canals were not bad anymore. So I began to feel a little more relieved.

When I got to his office, I saw there were pictures of many celebrities adorning the walls: Meridith Viera, Barbara Walters, Keith Olberman, Bill Moyers, Lauren Bacall, Raquel Welch, George Pataki. All had personal notes thanking the endodontist for his attention, care, and professionalism. A common thread seemed to be "quick and painless".

The helped my anxiety slip away a little further.

Then he called me in. We discussed the problem and he did some diagnostic work.

Yep, I needed the root canal.

It would probably take several visits. Did I want to start then?

Sure - might as well.

He commented that he wished that all patience were as easy going and accommodating as I was. I felt pretty good. A talented dentist who was well trained and had already taken a liking to me.

Then the fun began...

You see, my body has a little problem. It reacts very slowly to most types of anesthetics - sometimes not at all. This can be handy when someone is trying to get you drunk. It isn't good when you are having some kind of surgical procedure with local anesthetic.

I informed the endodontist about this and he said he would give me some time to sit. He injected me several times and then left for a while. I did get a bit numb - slowly.

When he returned he decided to try working on the tooth.

"Don't be a martyr. Let me know if you feel pain," he instructed.

"AAAuuaaa..." I replied through the dental dam.

He began drilling. And it hurt. So I raised my hand and he stopped. He gave me a few more shots and we waited a while more.

We went through the procedure again and again we had to stop.

After several repetitions, I began to sense the frustration. I will deal with the pain, I thought. I need to get through this. So the next time he started to drill, my hand remained on my lap even though there was some pain. It was tolerable.

Then less so.

The endodontist talked through what he was doing, explaining that he wanted to open up the tooth so that it could drain.

I gripped the arms of the chair as the pain got worse. Lets get through this, I thought. It hurt, but I did not protest. Then suddenly....

POW!!!

The drill made the acquaintance of my nerve and it was not a happy encounter.

My body decided to take matters into its own hands and jerked away. Tears began to roll down my face and my heart was racing. There have been few times in my life that I have felt pain like that. And I hope there won't be any more.

The endodontist stopped and injected some anesthetic straight into my tooth. It didn't help too much. He drilled a little more, but then just worked on getting some of the pulp out and started filing out the canal.

Then it was over.

After he marveled about how much anesthetic he had given me, he told me that there was a big abscess in the tooth and that it had insulated the nerve from the anesthetic - compounding my slow reaction to it. But now he had opened it up and it began to drain. He prescribed some antibiotics and painkillers and told me to come back the following week.

Then came the other painful part. Even though I have dental insurance, it only covers about half of the cost. And yes, it is expensive.

I was anxious about the pain I would feel once the anesthetic did wear off. The tooth did not hurt too much, but my jaw felt like someone had hit it multiple times with a hammer. I was not sure whether it was the procedure or the innumerable anesthetic shots I got.

After a couple of days I was off the painkillers, but my jaw was still swollen. It remained so even when I went back the following week. The doctor decided that working on it would only aggravate the jaw more, so he gave me another week off.

I go back tomorrow.

I have been in a sense of denial about it. I keep realizing, oh yes, I need to go back tomorrow. He assured me last week that it would not be painful this time. He will have to excuse me if I am a bit skeptical this time around.

And oh yes, summer term also starts tomorrow...it should be a swell day.

I think I am growing up.

The thought makes me shudder. But I think it is true.

Another semester has come to an end and the summer session is lying in wait ready to pounce on me on Tuesday. It will be four weeks of intensive teaching, but then I am done. Only to begin another summer job - this time as a freelance anthropologist. I'll be hanging out at a psychiatric institution. That is probably as much as I can say for now.

I have other research projects I will be working on too. And there is the book manuscript that is haunting me.

Moreover, we will be moving this summer. We are still not sure where, but certainly out of the city and out of this building. We may be purchasing a home. That thought is overwhelming and it leaves me a little stunned. It sure sounds so very grown up.

Although I am so very ready to leave this place, the thought of the actual process makes me oh so anxious.

To top things off, I have had an adventure with an endodontist trying to get a root canal. But that is a story for another day.

Social Commentary



I can't wait until the sequel comes out featuring Linkedin, Twitter, and Goodreads.

Reason #4 I am Ready to Move...

Exploding cars outside your building.

Pictures taken by and borrowed from Baratunde

Yesterday morning when I left my building to go to work, I noticed a bunch of fire trucks down the street and firemen scurrying about. There is a novelty toy factory next to our building and I thought there must have been some sort of incident there.

When I came home, I noticed that where the firemen had been congregating there were three charred cars, one of which (the Subaru) was being loaded on to a truck to be carried away. A woman, the owner, was taking pictures. Someone stopped and asked her what had happened and I stepped closer to eavesdrop.

The police believe that the middle car, the VW, was stolen (no plates) and then was dumped there and set on fire.


The fire then destroyed the two cars next to the VW and the leaking gas ran down the hill damaging the cars parked there.


Subaru woman was surprisingly composed, although I did notice a remaining sense of shock. She then pointed out that she had taken her son to the playground and that they had met another child with leukemia. That does tend to put things into perspective.

This is all very disturbing because I usually park right in that spot. I just had happened to have found a spot further up the hill the day before. I felt incredibly fortunate, but also extremely vulnerable. To think, I had been annoyed a few weeks ago because someone stole the antenna from out car.

I am also quite surprised that I did not hear the explosion at night. Our apartment is on the other side of the building and faces the busier and noisier street (which has made me more immune to loud noises). Moreover, I have been fairly sick recently and I was passed out from multiple medications. Nonetheless, I would have thought that something like that would have roused me from my slumber.

From what someone else told me that a few years back in the pre-gentrification days of the neighborhood, this type of thing was fairly common. Near where this occurred, we had seen a little shrine someone left on the sidewalk next to the building wall made up of flowers and candles. Apparently it is because someone torched a car there and there was a dead body in the car.

My eagerness to move has grown exponentially since yesterday morning.

Baratunde captured the events (night and following morning) and has been gracious to share it with the world:

Reason #22 I am ready to Move...

Fires in apartments down the hallway.

Faulty wiring, they say.

The poor people that lived there just moved in. Now they have to move out.

I am very afraid of this apartment building - with good reason.

Ughh...I can't stop smelling smoke.

In Good Company...

The other day I came out of our neighborhood supermarket which is on a busy stretch of Broadway. Standing at the kerb was a tall, somewhat lanky African-American fellow, maybe in his fifties.

He was a bit hunched over and he was smoking a cigarette. I noticed he was having an intense and animated conversation.

This would not garner my attention. The conversation he was having was with a parking meter.
I didn't mean to stare, but it was something different. He looked my way and caught me eavesdropping on his exchange - if you want to call it that. He smiled and stretched out his hand, indicating the universal request for monetary assistance. I walked over, handed him a couple of dollars that had nested in my pocket, and said hello.

He proceeded to introduce me to his friend - the parking meter. I don't remember the name, just that it was male.

"He likes to count," the guy explained.

"Pleased to meet you, sir," I said to the meter.

"Don't be rude, man...say hello to the kind gentleman. He just gave us some bread for some smokes," the guy chastised the meter.

The meter didn't say anything to me, but he must have said something to the guy because he went back to having his conversation.

"Excuse me, I need to go. Enjoy your day..." I offered.

The guy just smiled and waved.

And out of the corner of my eye, I swear, I saw the meter smile too. Then he went on with his counting.

There seems to be a malaise in the air. There seems to be tension, stress, unease, bad fortunes, and a sense that this are just a tad out of harmony. I am not sure what exactly it is I feel, but I do notice that the people around me all seem to be dealing with more troubles than the norm. Deaths, illnesses, uncertainty, confusion, anxiety, and melancholy all seem to be present.

I am facing my own challenges - both from within and beyond.

It seems that whenever there is something to celebrate, something to be proud of, some sense of accomplishment, there is, waiting just around the bend, something to temper it.

My long struggle to find permanent employment has come to an end. But rather than being something to celebrate, it poses new struggles. Moreover, something inside refuses me to be happy about this. Perhaps because it seems unreal, or perhaps because there is some bad wiring in my head.

I am entering the last few days of my break. I thought I would be able to take this time to let my new job security sink in and ponder the prospects for a more stable life. Instead it has been a time to deal with new worries. A few days ago I sat down to do our taxes. As a grad student, tax time was always a time of worry because while students grants, fellowships, and funding are taxed, usually money was not withheld. So around this time, I was always trying to figure out how to put up the money I owed.

I thought this time things would be different. Not so. I work in one state - New Jersey - and live in another - New York. My employer withholds taxes for New Jersey, but not New York. As I completed my taxes, it became clear that I owed a huge amount of money to the state of NY (and the City of New York, which also has income tax) because no money had been withheld. Grad school all over again, except this time I am making a lot more money, so the tax bill is all that much higher.

I do pay taxes in NJ, which I can deduct from NY, but those are much lower because I am not a resident and the NY tax rate is MUCH higher. No one where I worked told me that I would have to pay these taxes and that I should set funds aside. You think they would...but they didn't.

We don't have any cash reserves because we were trying to pay down our debt to hopefully buy a house. And now it is back into the debt pool to pay these taxes.

When I saw that big red number pop up on my little tax program, it really did feel like a punch in the stomach.

The tax fiasco has just fanned the flames of doubt and unhappiness that were already dancing in my mind. The gremlins of depression are fostering mischief despite my attempts to not let them. The inability to reign them in, to not let them rampage through my morale is frustrating. I am not sure what to do.

As I mentioned before, my work insurance is changing April 1, so I will have to switch doctors because the one I am seeing now does not take the new plan. I saw him yesterday and he recommended not making any drastic changes other than increase one of the meds I am on.

Over the past months, I was hoping to decrease my meds. My recent check up revealed that I was deficient in Vitamin D and Potassium and that my blood pressure was a bit high. I also have a tendency to clench my jaw when on the meds. So while they might help my mind, they probably are not doing my body much good. I guess it will all have to wait. The search for a new doctor begins - then maybe a new path to a more mentally harmonious life.

When I take a step back, all these issues seem so petty when I see what others have to deal with. But I can't escape them. The tax man (or woman) will make sure of it.

Why am I Surprised?

I cannot believe that the governor of my state was implicated in a prostitution ring. You would think that any high ranking politician would know to keep their noses clean; that there are people out there just waiting to pounce on any questionable decision they make.

It is true that the leak about his name came out of the justice department because he is a Democrat and the Republicans hold a double standard by asking for his resignation but not that of David Vitter. But still, how stupid can you be?

It looks like we are headed to become the first state with a legally blind governor. As Sara said, I should really learn his name and stop calling him the "blind, African-American guy".

.....

Ok, I looked it up - his name is David Paterson.

.....

Today I also found a roll of mentos in my coat pocket and I saw an Eagle eat a rat while walking by the Hudson river with the dogs.

Oh, and a Happy Birthday to Frankie. I hope she got to relax.

Busy day.

Reason #437 that I am ready to move

I want to be able to take a shower without having to the scalding-freezing dance.

Our shower randomly alternates from scalding to ice-cold water. If the apartment above or below us flushes the toilet, then there is a spurt of extremely hot water. Fortunately there is a five-second delay, so you can get out of the way - if you happen to hear it.

Having both burns and a loss of breath (or perhaps a mild cardiac arrest) from the alternating hot and cold water is not fun.

You would think that this "shower dance" would be unnecessary given the amount we pay in rent.

Time to move.

Dentist Day

Finally, I get to go to the dentist and figure out what is up with my tooth. In all likelihood I will have to go back and have some further dental work done.

I don't mind the dentist that much, except for those exuberant hygienists who try to slice your gums with floss.

I got word, though, that the hygienist is out today and that dentist will be doing the work. That could be good or bad. We'll see.

It's about time...

...that I grow up.

More details later.

Thank you all for the good wishes and thoughts.

The trip went well, although I am still thawing out. My tooth is still sharp and I will have to wait nine days before I get to see a dentist.

Now I need to work on my lecture for tomorrow.

Update: While flossing, a chunk of my tooth came out. Now there is a bigger hole in my molar. It still doesn't hurt, but I am wondering if I should try to get to the dentist sooner. Too bad the tooth fairy (in Mexico it was a ratoncito - little mouse), doesn't stop by our household anymore. I could use the cash.

Job Interview Fun

I am off to Wisconsin tomorrow, where the high is now forecast to be -2 degrees (F). The low is about -8 and the wind-chill is supposed to hit about -40. I am only going to be there until Monday evening, but I feel like I am taking more clothes than I usually do for a week. Mind you they are supposed to be nice clothes since it is an interview.

I will be interested in seeing how they go about trying to sell the place with that kind of weather. Needless to say, job interviews are stressful enough without having to worry about frostbite.

To add to the fun, I have a chip/crack in one of my molars. It doesn't hurt, but it is rather sharp. I have no clue how that happened. Suddenly at dinner I felt something sharp on my tooth. Little did I know it was my tooth.

It sounds like a visit to the dentist is coming up when I get back - that is if I don't end up frozen somewhere.

Don't Read: Just Complaining

From the time I was approaching the end of my dissertation until a few weeks ago, my job searches have been like sprinting through a swamp: struggling to not get very far, while getting very dirty and demoralized. I had six campus interviews, from which I got two temporary jobs and one offer I turned down.

During the month of February I have three. One as passed. I face one next Monday and one two weeks from Monday. One of them is for a permanent (tenure-track) position at the college I am at now (the one that has passes). The others: one in a very cold place and the other in a place not to far from here. It all is a bit daunting.

Academic job searches suck.

The silence and then the flow of rejection letters is extremely difficult to deal with after all the time, effort, and money you have invested in the process. On the other hand, a call or an email offering a campus visit does not bring the positive opposite you might think. It just sets a different set of worries upon your psyche - some trivial (will my "interview slacks" fit? Answer - yes, but they are quite snug), some more important.

All the thoughts set your head on a high speed spin cycle.

This all comes on the back of a psychic roller-coaster; a teetering on the edge of self-doubt, self-questioning, and an emotional downturn.

I am already exhausted after just one interview. And I did not have to travel for that one.

Sunday I head off to a place where the forecast high will be 6 degrees (Fahrenheit, mind you). Monday looks a little better at 12 degrees. Then I get to fly back and teach a class Tuesday morning.

Or not.

I am leaning towards canceling that class. It just would be a waste of class time. We shall see...

For now, I get my annual check up tomorrow. The will probably go well: all the stress is probably wrecking all kinds of havoc in my body. I am already quite aware of the tension in my neck, shoulders, and back. Who knows what else is messed up?

I better get to bed before this post gets gloomy.

Just in Case...

...you hadn't guessed who I am voting for next Tuesday. It's worth watching no matter who you support.



I have thought for a while that his words were lyrical in addition to being inspiring. I think we are witnessing one of the first great orators of the 21st century.

Huh?

Image "borrowed" from Blue Harvest Art .......

I was walking the dogs today just outside our apartment, when a police car sped up the street going the wrong way. Its lights were flashing and it definitely seemed like they were in a hurry to get somewhere.

When the car got near us, it came to an abrupt stop. It had not been the best of days, so immediately I thought I was going to be in some kind of trouble. Perhaps getting wrongly accused of not picking up after my dogs.

The window did go down and one of the two cops in the car called over to me.

"Hey, have you seen a pack of wild dogs around?"

Wild dogs?

"Um...no?" was the only response I could muster.

Wild dogs? In Manhattan?

The police car sped off...leaving me to ponder: wild dogs?

Then I realized maybe I should get back inside.

Mind you, we do live next to some large parks and I have heard stories about feral dogs living in one of them. I have never seen any of them. Cats? Yes. But dogs, no. And there isn't that much space for them to really hide.

Sara said that they must be little feral dogs. I can just imagine a wild pack of chihuahuas terrorizing northern Manhattan.

Later in the day I did notice a strong police presence on the streets around our apartment - keeping us safe from those wild dogs no doubt.

Delaware license plates look like they were made on an ink-jet printer.

I expect to see the ink start to run when it starts to rain.

Forging on into the Abyss

Well, it is not quite so melodramatic. The winter break is over and a new semester begins.

After four courses last semester, I felt like the spring would be easy and almost care free. Now I am reconsidering those feelings. Yes, there will be a lighter load, but I am teaching a new class for which there will be a lot of preparation involved. I am putting a lot of pressure on myself too because I want it to go well. The course is Food and Culture, an topic that is very dear to my heart (and gut). Perhaps I should lower my expectations. The first time you teach something is a challenge and there is a lot of trial and error.

I also had expectations for my research this spring. I was hoping to get started over the break, but that didn't happen. It wasn't a very productive break. Maybe I should not have had high expectation for that either. It may not have been realistic to think I could forge ahead with research after being mentally exhausted from the past year. I just feel like I have fallen far behind. And this is problem because....

...my employment situation is still up in the air. Things are moving along this time around more than they have in the past - so that is a bit encouraging. I have had some phone interviews and I will be having some campus interviews as well. However, Sara is going through the same process of applying and interviewing (and waiting). It is disconcerting not knowing where we will be or what we will be doing. Needless to say, this whole process lies ahead in the abyss that is the next few months and it too will eat away at my time, energy, and mental stability.

So in the meantime, I will try not to get too worked up about it, take one day at a time, and try to keep my wits about me. It certainly won't be easy, but there is no other way around the abyss. Wish me luck...

Our apartment blows out an inordinate amount of light bulbs.

It must be shoddy wiring.

Or evil spirits who delight in watching me struggle with the light covers.

And our freezer frosts up so quickly. This is a problem because the way it is designed the air flows from the freezer to the fridge. If it frosts up, the air ducts clog with ice creating two problems:

1. The thermostat is in the fridge, so it run continuously making our electric bill go way up.
2. Our food starts smelling a little wanky.

It is getting to be the time to move.

I am not sure where, but it is time to move.

On Health

I am a bit irked. No, I am very irked.

I was well on my way to having a productive day when I got an email message from our college's human resources department. The message kindly informed all employees that our health insurance coverage was changing.

Now mind you, we do have fairly good coverage and we do have multiple options in terms of companies and plans. However, the message described how several of the plans were not going to be available to us anymore.

Of course, one of the plans is the one Sara and I are on. We have spent a lot of time researching and finding doctors that we trust and like, and have since developed a good rapport with them. This is important because we both have medical issues that are ongoing and need monitoring, so having a positive relationship with our medical doctors is important.

As of now, it seems like the plans that will be available to us will no longer cover any of our medical providers. This may change as the different websites that provide information have not been updated to reflect the upcoming changes. But I would be highly surprised if they suddenly were covered.

Our health care system, while touted as so great, is really a joke. Health care may be wonderful, I do not doubt the competence of many of our health care providers, but the system in which everything operates is a disaster, at best, and unethical at worst. In a nut shell, it aims to discourage people to seek care, funneling them into the most inexperienced, underqualified, or just poor providers possible so as to save a buck. The goal of many health insurance providers is to get people to leave the program; they make it more attractive for someone to get covered through a spouse's plan.

So most of us get bounced around, being herded into the most "cost effective" system to provide health care, where the bottom line is how little do we consume, not how healthy we are, while the executives of these companies boast how well the company is doing and earning millions in bonuses. And while we may have great health care in this country, it is becoming less and less accessible. Yet we spend more and more on trying to stay healthy.

On a related note, there was an interesting post on the Daily Kos today. It discussed the health insurance coverage of each of the presidential candidates and whether they provided health care for their campaign staff.

Here is a summary:

Candidate...................Coverage......................Provides care for staff?

Democrats:
Clinton .................... Covered by federal employees plan......................Yes
Edwards....................Blue Cross (coverage for the campaign)..............Yes
Obama......................Covered by federal employees plan......................Yes
Kucinich...................Covered by federal employees plan......................No

Republicans:
Giuliani ................Decline to disclose...............................Decline to disclose
Huckabee ..............Decline to disclose...............................Decline to disclose
McCain..... ............Covered by federal employees plan.........Decline to disclose
Paul......................Covered by federal employees plan.........No (staff are volunteers)
Romney ................Decline to disclose...............................Decline to disclose
Thompson ............Decline to disclose...............................Decline to disclose


Clinton, Obama, Kucinich, McCain, and Paul have the federal employees plan because they are all members of Congress. This plan is actually a very good plan, and some candidates argue it should be made available to everyone.

Romney is a resident of Massachusetts, which per law enacted by Romney when he was governor, requires everyone to have health insurance. It is possible that Thompson is covered through the Motion Picture Health Industry Plan because he is a member of the union (a bit ironic).

It is also important to note that Giuliani, McCain, and Thompson would probably be ineligible to obtain health insurance on the market because they have all had cancer.

Unfortunately, I don't see things getting any better anytime soon. However, we need a President (and a government in general) who will not allow things to get worse. I would settle for that.

As for us, we will see what happens. Who knows, we may be moving to new jobs, to a different place, so we might just have to get by in those few months. Or we might just have to deal with going out of network to see the doctors we like. There are lot of uncertainties lying ahead - I'll need to deal with each as I come to it.

Two Developments

I have become officially invested in the Presidential race. I am waiting on pins and needles for the NH results to come in.

There has been some progress on the job search front. I am still nervous about it and the anxiety is only going to grow.

More on this later.

Burnout

Burnout

I haven't been around here for a while. I am not really sure why, but if I were to venture a guess, it would be burnout.

The past year was pretty brutal. I taught four courses in the spring, three courses in the summer, and four courses in the fall. Add to that a trip to Mexico (which almost didn't happen), applying for jobs, pretending to do some research, and a conference.

And it hardly feels like I have had a break. I was grading until the 27th. Then we had a stressful incident with Zephyr and last I got sick.

While the new semester is still two weeks away, I need to get back on the wagon and start making progress on all the things that have piled up.

I may also be a little burnt out on the whole writing online thing. But I do need a place to complain, so I will still be writing - at least for now. I think I put pressure on myself to write something of value, rather that just randomly spewing thoughts. Not that I have ever written much of value, just that my own expectations changed. I am not sure why.

Maybe I will pick this up again, maybe not.

We'll see...

I find this CNN online poll very disturbing. It isn't scientific, but it really shows how close to fascism we really are.

Are there circumstances in which waterboarding of prisoners is acceptable?

Yes	53%	17280
No	47%	15286
Total Votes: 32566

I wonder if the answers would be any different if instead of waterboarding it read torture.

Witchhunts - I can smell them coming....

There is so much to do - or better put, there is so much I need to be doing.

Yet I don't have the wherewithal to even begin.

Two notes:
1. In Italian there is a great word that fits in where I have the "better put" that does not have an English equivalent: anzi. I find this frustrating at times. I want the equivalent of a word that exists in a different language. Moral of the story: avoid learning foreign languages - it is the cause of unnecessary frustration.

Second note: ........now I forgot. I think I was going to write something about the word wherewithal. Hmmm...not sure if that was it. But since I am on that topic, wherewithal is usually I word we use when we don't have it. And it is a cumbersome word for a period of time when we are feeling overwhelmed and unable to tackle some issue(s).

So there it is. The end of the semester is upon us. The realization that break is not really a break, rather a shift in activities. I will welcome the break in teaching. Four courses is just too many. It is not fair to the teacher and not fair to the students.

I am off to find a different way to avoid what it is that I need to get done.

It was bound to happen sooner or later.

I got my first official rejection of the job hunt season. It came via email. I am not even worth a stamp. At least it is environmentally friendly.

It just came at a bad time. It has shaken my confidence a little and my sinking morale went a little lower.

I need the semester to be over.

But before I wallow in self-pity too long, I need to send positive energy to a friend who is battling her own woes: health insurance claims denied (among other things).

When will we live in a country where it isn't a privilege to be healthy?

Órale, wassup with this? I should be a pepper not some Japanese flavor. And truth be told, most of what we call wasabi is just colored horseradish.

I'm tired. So I may be incomprehensible at this point.

Your Score: Wasabi

You scored 50% intoxication, 100% hotness, 100% complexity, and 75% craziness!

You are Wasabi!

You're pretty much insane. You're probably from another planet, even. When you're around people, you go straight for the crown chakra and get them all tingly. You're often imitated by those who want to be like you, but you're definitely one of a kind.

Link: The Which Spice Are You Test written by jodiesattva on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Off to DC

To the Anthropology Meetings.

Be back soon.

Thanksgiving 2007


A walk in the park.

Company: two dogs.



Soundtrack:
Miles Davis - Sketches of Spain
Keith Jarrett - The Köln Concert





Yes, this is Manhattan.

It should probably be called the forgotten corner.

You might say, how can it be forgotten if no one ever knew about it.




But the Wappani knew about it: they called this place Shorakapok and lived in the caves found here.

I am glad it is forgotten, but I honor the Wappani on this day of Thanksgiving.

Weather

The sun returned today. Good thing I mentioned that I missed it yesterday. Speaking of weather, you know who would make a great weather person?

Steven Wright

I hate how weather people say the temperature as though it were the most amazing thing in the world. It doesn't matter whether it is cold or hot, whether it is far from the norm or just what is expected. I guess newscasters do that in general. I hate that false emphasis on everything. I believe Steve Martin mocked this in his film LA Story.


I also hate how local news now teases you throughout the telecast with bits of weather. They force you to watch inane bits or abuses of tragedy just so you know whether you should take your raincoat or not.

Which brings me to this. You know who else would make a great weather person?

Lewis Black.

Quick, direct, no BS weather.

I can only dream.

Sparsity

Who knew that was a word? My spell check seems to be ok with it (it doesn't like ok, though). It seems like I used to be comfortable here and putting random thoughts, whine about a unimportant grievance, or just letting my brain fart away. I do not do that anymore. It is true that I am busy - four classes, job applications, a stalled research project, and general life demands will do that to you. However, I have time to dilly dally in other brief and random endeavors, so why not here. Is it the pressure I put on myself to spew something worthwhile? Have I - gasp - become self-conscious? Or have I just become bored with this medium (I do bore easily)? Truth is, I do not know.

But here I am...probably because I am home alone. The dogs are here, but Sara is off to San Antonio to see her grandmother, father, and family.

I thought I would have more free time, but so much crap has piled up and there are so many random errands that need to be run that I have been as short on time as ever.

Who knew it was so complicated to send a large envelope to Canada via priority mail with a way to track it? Tip: it is worth the extra few dollars to send it express (not that it really is express - it take 5 business days). Why? Montreal is much closer to New York than California, where I can send something overnight.

Just to let you know, avoid the Inwood post office station in NYC. I will spare the details. If you want to know, ask.

Why are people so unaware of others around them? Different post office: a woman took five minutes trying to decide between the Christmas knit stamps and the Madonna and Child stamps. In the end, she decided that she didn't like either and got THREE regular stamps. Mind you, that was the only window open and there was a line out the door. I thought the woman in front of me was going to strangle her. That would have been entertaining and worth the wait. I think she was 90 - the strangler, not the indecisive one.

I miss the sun. It went missing a few days ago.

I gave my Introduction to International Studies classes a naturalization test during our lecture on immigration. Based on the results, most of them need to be deported. They probably would also do poorly on the English language test and they might have a hard time showing their attachment to the Constitution (since most of them are quite ignorant of what it states) and proving their "Good Moral Character".

Most of my students' knowledge of geography is also abysmal.

What is even more discouraging is that NJ is supposed to have one of the better secondary education systems.

Our dogs are healthy - determined by a recent vet visit. They are also quite cooperative. The impressed the vet.

We put the notes left by our dog-walker praising them on the fridge.

I bet Zeus is smarter than some of my students. He definitely is more worldly - he's been to 3 countries and 27 states.

I like The Hives new album and I have rediscovered The The.

It's time to eat dinner.

Sure Sign You are Getting Old

You do online quizzes for your dogs on a Friday evening because you are too tired to do anything else...

Zeus's DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

And Zephyr's

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Land of the Brave

Despite Oso's previous traumatic encounters with delinquents around the world, he was brave enough to embark in the lengthy trek from Brooklyn to the hinterland of Upstate Manhattan to meet up for dinner last night.

He brought along someone for protection (or to distract the potential assailants): Dr. Cereal. I have followed the Dr.'s adventures in Monterrey and on Southwest Airlines online, but I had never had the opportunity to meet him.

Oso has become my official social network agent as he helps me meet online personae who are fun and fascinating (the previous example being Nathan and Rosario). I can't wait to meet up with him again because I am sure I will meet yet another interesting individual(s).

We decided (more like I dragged them) to take in some of the local cuisine (or rather the cuisine imported by the local Dominican community). The food was good and the conversation ranging from the mundane to the insightful. It is strange to me that I have only met up with Oso three times, yet it feels like I am meeting up with an old college buddy. It is interesting how this new dynamic medium is changing the nature of social interaction.

We did discuss the veracity of online personae and how it reflects and differs from the actual producer of the persona. Oso sheepishly insinuated that I am whiny online (which I am), but claimed that I wasn't in real life (yet I am - just ask Sara). During the conversation, I realized how much of an academic I have become. Theoretical questions bounced around through my mind: What would Weber have to say? Does this relate to Durkheim and his concept of organic solidarity? I bet Goffman would have a cool blog and he would probably use it to mess around with people's minds. I also questioned why did I have to immediately relate our conversation to the academic. Couldn't I just take it for what it was? Three guys enjoying some Caribbean food over beer and sangría?

Nonetheless, it was a very enjoyable evening. I hope to meet up with Dr. Cereal again since he lives nearby (although a very long subway ride) and he has just started a job that I would like to hear more about.

And as far as I know, Oso got out of my 'hood without incident. I even walked him to the subway to ensure his safety. Although I was tempted to turn to the dark side after glimpsing his iPhone (which he demurely kept shielded even as he used it to look something up).

Stressful Days

In addition to the loads of work that is consuming my life right now, the fires in San Diego have consumed my attention.

My mother's home is safe - thank goodness. However, they woke one night to the eerie red glow of the night sky. From their window they saw the fire come around a large mountain not too far from their home. They were packed and ready to go. Fortunately they did not have to.

While my mother and stepfather are quite pragmatic (and hence I didn't think they would be in danger), both have put so much time and energy into their home that I could not bear to think of it going up in flames.

Beyond the immediacy of my family, it grieves me to see so many people displaced, so many of the places I know damaged or destroyed. My rational mind tells me that homes will be rebuilt and lives will move on, but my emotions take pause in the wrath nature has brought. The earth has been speaking to us, complaining about how we have treated it. When will we listen? Probably when it is too late.

A HUGE thanks from me goes out to Nathan (and his co-workers) whose hard work at KPBS has helped so many stay informed and connected. If only more of the media worked for the public good we would be much better off.

Visual DNA

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I would say I am more of a dreamer and escape artist than a go-getter and conquerer, but these tests don't lie...

Thanks to Heliosphan

Sorry About the Wait

Ok, I know I taunted you with the picture and left you hanging for some time.

So what the heck is it?

I am a little disappointed that there weren't more guesses.

As to what it is, there is some debate and I guess it depends on the observer.

I consider it art, or at least a form of artistic expression. I call it Manchamantel.

Sara begs to differ (as her comment indicates, she isn't too happy about the picture).

She sees it as what it is: a stained tablecloth at Rosa Mexicano in New York City.

It is the mess we made during our dinner on Mexican Independence Day, featuring mole oaxaqueño, guacamole and chiles en nogada of a special menu designed by Susana Trilling.

While Sara sees the tablecloth as an embarrassing blemish of our lack of class, I see it as the fruit of us engaging and enjoying our meal - thus artistic. A clean table cloth is but a canvass on which we can feel free to create our gustatory designs while partaking of food.

The more spritually inclined might even see inspiration; perhaps spotting religious iconography in the image.

So there it is, perhaps it is banal and mundane or perhaps it is inspired expression. Who knows?

What IS that?

Since I probably don't have any readers left, I can without worry offer $5.oo or a secret-prize to whomever can correctly guess what the above picture is (Sara is not eligible to win). If you do guess, let me know along with your answer whether you would prefer the cash or the prize.

Today: Acatl - Acatl - Chalchihuitlicu: 13-Coatl (snake)

As a year bearer, Acatl (Reed) is the sign of day in the tonalpohualli that gives its name to this xihuitl (year). This sign is associated with the direction of the east.

The 13-day period Acatl (Reed) is ruled by Chalchihuitlicue, goddess of lakes, rivers and seas, goddess of horizontal waters. This trecena signifies the transitory nature of all that we may gain in life: it is a reminder to view success and failure, gain and loss, as matters of fate and not as matters of personal worth. The elementals do not reward nor punishment our efforts but, rather, construct the maze within which we might perfect our hearts. The 13 days of this trecena reveal our hearts to us, based on whether we have decided to live within the house of shadows or to seek the secret of happiness elsewhere. These are good days to travel to new places; bad days to hide in fear.

Citlalicue, Her skirt is Stars, is the provider of the Spirit Soul (Teyollia) for days with numeral 13 (mahtlactli-omei). The volatile for this day is the Parrot (Toznene).

The protector of day Coatl (Snake) and provider of the Shadow Soul or Tonalli is Chalchihuitlicue. Coatl is the day of the snaking river that always changes without changing. It signifies the fleeting moment of eternal water. A good day for humility, a bad day for acting on self-interests.

Another year...

Bidding Summer Farewell



My absence here is a combination of my hectic schedule and mental apathy.

Um...that's all I got.

Caveat q*uech*up

I would like to warn everyone that there is a nasty spamming worm making its way through the cyberworld. The way it works is as follows:

• You get a message: "Invitation from Xoloitzquintle".
• When you open it, it sends out a message from you with the same invitation.
• The invitation is to a "social networking site" that really is some crappy dating service in Britain.

I, unfortunately, fell victim to this stupid trick and had to send out a warning to everyone who had ever corresponded with (I use Gmail and it keeps all that info), some of which are quite important and influential people.

This is a stress I don't really need right now.

I always wondered...

Via Sherri who I bow to in nerdom respect.

"Home" Work

Despite our astronomical rent, our apartment has lots of "quirks". Things need fixing and tending to. Over the past couple of weeks I have had to:

• Deal with the return of "Miguelito" - our unwelcome rodent guest. This involved setting up multiple traps (stick and snap). After several appearances, he seems to have gotten the hint and moved to other quarters without having to lose a limb or worse.
• Take our fridge apart to figure out why the freezer was working but the fridge wasn't. The problem was that despite the lack of frost in the freezer, the vents between the freezer and the fridge got clogged with ice.
• Learn how to fix a leaky tub faucet. I still need to get some tools to address the problem, but I think I know how now.

You may wonder why I don't call the "super" (aka the building superintendent who lives on site and should be responsible for these things) and have these things taken care of.

1. From the stories I have heard from other tenants, he is not very reliable and it often takes several tries for him to get it right. From what I have seen in our bathroom, his work is not very good (it was patched up before we moved in).
2. Trying to coordinate a visit with our schedules and the dogs is too much of a headache.
3. I should learn how to do these things anyway.

In addition to these home duties, I have also been training as a iMac repair person. With all the crashes and errors I have experienced, as well as the calls to tech support, I have become a pseudo expert. I think I have isolated the problem: either one of my memory cards is bad or one of the slots is bad.

So my vacation is coming to an end - back to work next week - and I am tied up with home duties. Actually work already started as I have been putting in many hours working on my courses this past week. These four weeks "off" have really flown by. I could use another four.

Reflections...

Going back to Mexico always leaves me in a contemplative mood. There are memories, thoughts, nostalgia, regrets, changes, and observations to process. They whirl in my head without my even knowing it. Perhaps that is why I am feeling tired, almost exhausted.

I hope to get to them, but not now. I am not sure when...

Finally!

I made it to Mexico.

Here is proof:

I guess it really isn't proof because I could have stolen the picture from someone, so you are just going to have to trust me on this one.

There are many more pictures, but I am not sure whether to post them or not. I could also write a lot about the trip both in terms of my observations and my own emotional response to being back. I am not sure if I will do that either.

The trip back was uneventful as far as scheduling went. However the airline lost one of Sara's bags and they have yet to find it.

That's it for now.

Still Here & Going Nowhere Fast

Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone

A soul in tension thats learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, I

- "Learning to Fly" Pink Floyd

I woke up at 4:15 am this morning to get a 5:15 car to LaGuardia to catch my 8:00 am flight to Atlanta where I was to connect to my flight to Mexico City.

I was worried because the weather report called for heavy rain overnight into the morning. Looking out of my dark window, I saw there was no rain.

However, at 4:30 am I checked my flight status online only to find that my flight was canceled.

Crap.

So I called the airline to find out that I have been re-booked for tomorrow at 6:00 am. I try to get an earlier flight without any success.

I am awake with nowhere to go.

I try to look for a one-way ticket to Mexico just to see my options. I find a $500 ticket in first class. I am tempted to buy it, but I am not that rich.

The rain? It came, but it was a mix of light showers and drizzle.

Tomorrow I am up even earlier to try this for the third time.

Vacations are supposed to be relaxing, aren't they? At least that is what I hear...

So Much for Mexico

As I mentioned, I was supposed to leave for Mexico yesterday. I was hoping to get away from a rash of bad luck and stress.

But I am still in New York.

The gods (perhaps Zeus?) decided to keep me here by unleashing a massive storm on the city.



The obstacles created by said storm were too much for me to overcome.

I left for JFK (the NYC airport) at 7 am for a drive that normally takes between 35 minutes to an hour and a half depending on traffic.

My flight was at 10:35.



As I started making my way on the freeway, traffic got progressively slower and more congested.

Until it came to a complete stop.

I managed to get off the freeway and began to meander my way through side streets.

It quickly became apparent that this was not going to work either.

At some point I began to second guess myself and began thinking that I should have taken public transportation to the airport.









The radio soon let me know that I would have probably found myself in a worse predicament as most of the subway system shut down due to flooding.

This left people waiting or if you were lucky you were informed before you began to wait that you should just give up.


It was somewhere in between the stopped freeways and the congested and obstacle-ridden roads that I went from being stressed to being zenfully resigned.

The radio mentioned that there was a tornado near the airport and that there were massive flight delays.

So perhaps it would all work out. If not, there was not much I could do.

As I slowly progressed towards the airport, the the skies cleared and the sun came out as if to taunt me. How could I be so late in such a clear and sunny day?

I arrived at the airport at 10:50.

My flight was gone.

For once a flight left on time even when there was inclement weather.


As you can imagine, the airport was full of some very unhappy people. I was given the choice to re-book for today making three or more connections or for tomorrow with one connection (my flight yesterday was non-stop). I chose the latter.

Given the traffic chaos, the fact that I had already parked the car in an off-airport location, and that I am flying out of LaGuardia on Friday (but we are flying back to JFK) I decided to take the subway back home. The A train runs from JFK to where we live, but it is the whole line of the longest line in New York. Moreover, it usually runs express (skipping over many stations), but to add insult to injury, yesterday it ran local (making all the stops).

At least it was running (one of the few), it had a/c (the weather turned unbearably hot and muggy), and I had a safe home (with some very happy dogs) to return to.

Tomorrow I get to try again. The forecast is:

Showers and thundershowers likely.
High 74F.
Winds E at 10 to 15 mph.
Chance of rain 60%. Rainfall around a half an inch.

I am splurging on a private car (same cost as a taxi) and requested it for 5:15 am for my 8:00 am flight.

Let's see how that goes.

Photos from the New York Times website

Me Voy a México

I need a vacation and this trip will not really count. Why? That's a long complicated story for which I don't have time now.

Back in a week, hopefully with no intestinal visitors or other souvenirs.

Update

The cheating student's case has been referred to the vice-provost. I suspect that she will get a lecture and then the ultimate decision as what to do will land in my lap.

Fail the class?

Fail the exam?

I am leaning towards the first. We'll see.

My sister arrives tomorrow morning at 6:45 am - she is taking the red-eye from San Francisco. Like the good brother that I am I going to pick her up at Newark. I am excited to see her (and her boyfriend).

My mother and step-father arrive on Monday and then I leave for Mexico on Wednesday. I will be seeing my father and then meeting up with Sara who is there now studying Spanish.

Busy times.