Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Don't Read: Just Complaining

From the time I was approaching the end of my dissertation until a few weeks ago, my job searches have been like sprinting through a swamp: struggling to not get very far, while getting very dirty and demoralized. I had six campus interviews, from which I got two temporary jobs and one offer I turned down.

During the month of February I have three. One as passed. I face one next Monday and one two weeks from Monday. One of them is for a permanent (tenure-track) position at the college I am at now (the one that has passes). The others: one in a very cold place and the other in a place not to far from here. It all is a bit daunting.

Academic job searches suck.

The silence and then the flow of rejection letters is extremely difficult to deal with after all the time, effort, and money you have invested in the process. On the other hand, a call or an email offering a campus visit does not bring the positive opposite you might think. It just sets a different set of worries upon your psyche - some trivial (will my "interview slacks" fit? Answer - yes, but they are quite snug), some more important.

All the thoughts set your head on a high speed spin cycle.

This all comes on the back of a psychic roller-coaster; a teetering on the edge of self-doubt, self-questioning, and an emotional downturn.

I am already exhausted after just one interview. And I did not have to travel for that one.

Sunday I head off to a place where the forecast high will be 6 degrees (Fahrenheit, mind you). Monday looks a little better at 12 degrees. Then I get to fly back and teach a class Tuesday morning.

Or not.

I am leaning towards canceling that class. It just would be a waste of class time. We shall see...

For now, I get my annual check up tomorrow. The will probably go well: all the stress is probably wrecking all kinds of havoc in my body. I am already quite aware of the tension in my neck, shoulders, and back. Who knows what else is messed up?

I better get to bed before this post gets gloomy.

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