The Xoloitzquintle Free University

On Line Lesson # 157 - Capitalism around the World

Ideal Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one cow and buy a bull.
They multiply themselves, the economy grows.
You sell the herd and retire. You are rich!

American Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other one to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when it falls dead.

Japanese Capitalism
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they have a tenth of their regular size
and produce 20 times more milk.
Afterwards you create cute cartoons called Vaquimon and sell them to the whole world.

British Capitalism
You have two cows.
Both of them are mad.

Dutch Capitalism
You have two cows.
They live together, in a union of fact, they don't like bulls and it's okay.

German Capitalism
You have two cows.
They produce milk regularly, according to standard quantities
and pre-established schedule, in a precise and lucrative way.
But what you really wanted was to raise pigs.

Russian capitalism
You have two cows.
You count them and you see 5.
You count them again and see 42.
You count them once more and find 12 cows.
You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.

Swiss Capitalism
You have 500 cows, but own none.
You charge to store other people's cows.

Spanish Capitalism
You are very proud of owning two cows.

Italian Capitalism

You have two cows.

One dies and everyone stands around arguing about why it died and who is to blame.

Meanwhile the other cow gets stolen and resold on the black market.

Brazilian Capitalism
You have two cows.
And you complain because the herd doesn't grow.

Indian Capitalism
You have two cows.
And no one get's near them.

Portuguese Capitalism
You have two cows.
One of them is stolen.
The other one was bought through the Social European Fund.
The government creates the "TICV" - "Tax of Increased Cow Value".
An inspector comes and tickets you, because although you paid correctly the TICV, the value was for the presumed number of cows and not of the real amount of cows. The Ministry of Finances, also through presumed data based on your consumption of milk, cheese, leather shoes and buttons, understands you should have 200 cows.
You give the remaining cow to the finance inspector so he overlooks the whole thing and hope to get rid of the situation...

There will be a quiz on Monday. Have a great weekend...