Things haven't been too cheery in the Xolo household.
Due to circumstances that I shan't go into here, I find myself very stressed and anxious. It is distressing when the preoccupation swallows you completely and there is little respite. My stomach hurts and I am sure it is from the worry. Not good, not good.
Classes have started and all three of mine seem promising. Good vibes from the students.
I look with alarm what is going on in this country and if my mind weren't elsewhere I would be concerned as well. The latest: a pastor in Florida wants to have a Qur'an burning. Ironic, isn't it, that those who would be the first to oppose the building of an Islamic center in southern Manhattan and deny the first amendment rights of those people are the first to take advantage of their first amendment rights to engage in book burning. The hypocrisy...
It looks like Congress is going to go from bad to worse in November. Ah people with their short-term ADD memories.
So I am off to deal with my own demons for now. Who knows when things will become more serene? I don't see it in the horizon - alas.
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
NFNY
New York City is not fun when the temperature is 100 degrees.
I feel bad for the tennis players playing in the US Open.
I really feel for sanitation workers. I can't think of a more thankless job. Having to deal with fermenting trash in this weather is torture.
Tomorrow is the first day of class for me. One class in the morning and one in the afternoon.
I am going to wing it.
I feel bad for the tennis players playing in the US Open.
I really feel for sanitation workers. I can't think of a more thankless job. Having to deal with fermenting trash in this weather is torture.
Tomorrow is the first day of class for me. One class in the morning and one in the afternoon.
I am going to wing it.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Meetings
I had a day full of meetings. A great way to start a new academic year.
On the bright side they were much more streamlined and productive this time as compared to times past.
I am slowly becoming aware (or being reminded) of how busy I am going to be this semester. That's on top of teaching classes.
Tomorrow there are more meetings...and a drive into the city (not for anything fun).
And did I mention it was hot. It's pretty awful. I am hoping it is summer's last hurrah. Although we might get grazed by Hurricane Earl on Friday/Saturday. Events like that used to excite me, at least a little. Now that I am a home owner - not so much. I tend to be much too aware of the swaying trees and falling branches. Unfortunately, a couple of our trees are what you would consider "weed trees" - meaning they grow randomly and really fast (not that you could get high off of them). This also means they are not very sturdy and tend to have branches - sometimes very large branches - break off.
I don't think Earl will come close enough to cause concern. There are plenty of other things to worry about.
On the bright side they were much more streamlined and productive this time as compared to times past.
I am slowly becoming aware (or being reminded) of how busy I am going to be this semester. That's on top of teaching classes.
Tomorrow there are more meetings...and a drive into the city (not for anything fun).
And did I mention it was hot. It's pretty awful. I am hoping it is summer's last hurrah. Although we might get grazed by Hurricane Earl on Friday/Saturday. Events like that used to excite me, at least a little. Now that I am a home owner - not so much. I tend to be much too aware of the swaying trees and falling branches. Unfortunately, a couple of our trees are what you would consider "weed trees" - meaning they grow randomly and really fast (not that you could get high off of them). This also means they are not very sturdy and tend to have branches - sometimes very large branches - break off.
I don't think Earl will come close enough to cause concern. There are plenty of other things to worry about.
Monday, August 30, 2010
College Life
Campus is coming back to life - reawakening from its summer slumber. Voices are reemerging in the hallways along with footsteps and activity. Bodies float across the quad more frequently.
As I arrived today, I saw parents helping students carry, wheel, schlep, lug, and drag their belongings to their dorm rooms. I remember when...
I remember when it was me moving on to campus. The anticipation, the nervousness, the excitement, the relief. Summer was over and I knew that a grueling experience of challenging my mind and taxing my stamina laid ahead. But I was eager to reconnect with my friends (of course, there was the excitement of meeting new people the first year) and to hear about their adventures. There was always the need to get so much done those first few days. We had to register for classes. No internet back then, so we had to go to a room and sign up for classes. There were different time slots according to year, but otherwise it was first in line, first in class. I learned that there was always a crowd when it first opened in the morning, but when those people got through it was fairly empty until about noon when the crowd lingered until registration closed.
It was also important to find the perfect time to go to the bookstore for your books; otherwise you would be bumping into everyone and waiting hours in line. There was always the shock of how much the books cost and the debate whether to buy them used to only save a few dollars. I hated used books. I found people would highlight and markup the wrong sections - and that would be terribly distracting. Why would someone highlight that?
The best part would be the late nights, hanging out in a lounge or outside on campus somewhere. Reestablishing the connection to your fellow students, your collegiate kin. Retelling experiences, lamenting hardship, overcoming disappointment, and reading ourselves for the upcoming challenge.
I never did work as hard as I could have in college, but I did work hard - most of the time.
As I watch the students today I reminisce and in doing so share some of their emotion. But some of their experiences were obviously unthinkable to me way back then. In particular the constant contact they have with everyone else. Cell phones, computers, the internet. How has that changed their experiences? There is no catching up because everyone knows what everyone else is doing from their facebook updates. They don't need to hunt down their friends on campus because they just call them up and ask them where they are.
But the anticipation, the nervousness, the dreariness, the excitement, the dread, and the preparation for the new semester is still there. As their professor, I know what awaits them - at least in my classes. How will they respond? That's up to them. Their response is important, though. It will set the dynamic for the semester, which in turn will determine the nature of the class. I'm bringing my experience and my nerdy enthusiasm...and yes, my nostalgia...which emotions and experiences will they bring?
We'll see....
As I arrived today, I saw parents helping students carry, wheel, schlep, lug, and drag their belongings to their dorm rooms. I remember when...
I remember when it was me moving on to campus. The anticipation, the nervousness, the excitement, the relief. Summer was over and I knew that a grueling experience of challenging my mind and taxing my stamina laid ahead. But I was eager to reconnect with my friends (of course, there was the excitement of meeting new people the first year) and to hear about their adventures. There was always the need to get so much done those first few days. We had to register for classes. No internet back then, so we had to go to a room and sign up for classes. There were different time slots according to year, but otherwise it was first in line, first in class. I learned that there was always a crowd when it first opened in the morning, but when those people got through it was fairly empty until about noon when the crowd lingered until registration closed.
It was also important to find the perfect time to go to the bookstore for your books; otherwise you would be bumping into everyone and waiting hours in line. There was always the shock of how much the books cost and the debate whether to buy them used to only save a few dollars. I hated used books. I found people would highlight and markup the wrong sections - and that would be terribly distracting. Why would someone highlight that?
The best part would be the late nights, hanging out in a lounge or outside on campus somewhere. Reestablishing the connection to your fellow students, your collegiate kin. Retelling experiences, lamenting hardship, overcoming disappointment, and reading ourselves for the upcoming challenge.
I never did work as hard as I could have in college, but I did work hard - most of the time.
As I watch the students today I reminisce and in doing so share some of their emotion. But some of their experiences were obviously unthinkable to me way back then. In particular the constant contact they have with everyone else. Cell phones, computers, the internet. How has that changed their experiences? There is no catching up because everyone knows what everyone else is doing from their facebook updates. They don't need to hunt down their friends on campus because they just call them up and ask them where they are.
But the anticipation, the nervousness, the dreariness, the excitement, the dread, and the preparation for the new semester is still there. As their professor, I know what awaits them - at least in my classes. How will they respond? That's up to them. Their response is important, though. It will set the dynamic for the semester, which in turn will determine the nature of the class. I'm bringing my experience and my nerdy enthusiasm...and yes, my nostalgia...which emotions and experiences will they bring?
We'll see....
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Random
I feel like posting something, but I don't know what.
I am feeling glum. I mope.
I would like some stability in my life. What would it take?
Stupid question.
It's hot again. I don't like it. The heat is going to stick around as if to taunt me.
I am starting to think about my courses. I should try to be creative. Make my classes different.
I am up for tenure this semester - although it won't go into effect until a year from next semester. I still need to apply for promotion by December. That's a separate decision, but it would also go into effect next year. Those are big hurdles that once passed will bring a sense of tranquility - at least professionally.
Then I can go crazy with creativity in my classes. The mad eccentric professor...haha.
I am disillusioned with this country. The level of ignorance and stupidity among some people is truly discouraging.
So it goes...
I am feeling glum. I mope.
I would like some stability in my life. What would it take?
Stupid question.
It's hot again. I don't like it. The heat is going to stick around as if to taunt me.
I am starting to think about my courses. I should try to be creative. Make my classes different.
I am up for tenure this semester - although it won't go into effect until a year from next semester. I still need to apply for promotion by December. That's a separate decision, but it would also go into effect next year. Those are big hurdles that once passed will bring a sense of tranquility - at least professionally.
Then I can go crazy with creativity in my classes. The mad eccentric professor...haha.
I am disillusioned with this country. The level of ignorance and stupidity among some people is truly discouraging.
So it goes...
Last Day of Summer (Break)
Summer is over.
At least summer break is over. Classes start on Wednesday, but my first class is on Thursday. Until then, my week is full of meetings and other work related tasks and events.
It will be nice to get back to a rhythm - summer's lack of structure can be hard to deal with. I have high hopes as to what will get done during the summer months, but it never pans out.
I am also looking forward to cooler weather. This has been a hot summer. And humid - something I don't do well with. The uncomfortable climate can be a great excuse for the lack of productivity. It always is: heat, cold, grey, rain, or whatever happens to be overhead that day...always a distraction.
A return to getting paid will be good too. It has been a very difficult summer financially, trying to make ends meet. Our system of not getting paid during July and August is nuts. I know I should plan ahead and save up, but it never seems to work out. This year I need to be better about that.
Stress has been abundant this summer. I don't think it will go away, but at least I will be busy to keep my mind off of it.
At least summer break is over. Classes start on Wednesday, but my first class is on Thursday. Until then, my week is full of meetings and other work related tasks and events.
It will be nice to get back to a rhythm - summer's lack of structure can be hard to deal with. I have high hopes as to what will get done during the summer months, but it never pans out.
I am also looking forward to cooler weather. This has been a hot summer. And humid - something I don't do well with. The uncomfortable climate can be a great excuse for the lack of productivity. It always is: heat, cold, grey, rain, or whatever happens to be overhead that day...always a distraction.
A return to getting paid will be good too. It has been a very difficult summer financially, trying to make ends meet. Our system of not getting paid during July and August is nuts. I know I should plan ahead and save up, but it never seems to work out. This year I need to be better about that.
Stress has been abundant this summer. I don't think it will go away, but at least I will be busy to keep my mind off of it.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Back in Black
Back in Black
Well...not really in black.
The world has moved on, the online community fizzled, so there is some mourning to be had.
But here I am, to try to resurrect this depository of ideas that has languished for so long. I need a spark, a catalyst to try to move my "real" writing ahead. I need to take that mess I wrote six years ago that is commonly known as a dissertation and turn it into something more readable, something that someone would actually want to publish.
And yes, there is always complaining to be had. I need a venue for that too.
How far will this endeavor go? Is this a twitch on a corpse that is beyond resuscitation? Or is there new life in this pseudo space? I know more likely than not, this will be a soliloquy; a lone voice in an empty room, theater, arena...
But this exercise is not for others...
If someone wants to converse, great. But if I just rattle off to myself, so be it.
So carry on...
Well...not really in black.
The world has moved on, the online community fizzled, so there is some mourning to be had.
But here I am, to try to resurrect this depository of ideas that has languished for so long. I need a spark, a catalyst to try to move my "real" writing ahead. I need to take that mess I wrote six years ago that is commonly known as a dissertation and turn it into something more readable, something that someone would actually want to publish.
And yes, there is always complaining to be had. I need a venue for that too.
How far will this endeavor go? Is this a twitch on a corpse that is beyond resuscitation? Or is there new life in this pseudo space? I know more likely than not, this will be a soliloquy; a lone voice in an empty room, theater, arena...
But this exercise is not for others...
If someone wants to converse, great. But if I just rattle off to myself, so be it.
So carry on...
Friday, January 22, 2010
Monday, April 13, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Public Service Announcement
[The following is prompted by some of the answers on the final exam in one of my classes where students could earn extra credit by identifying the capitals of several countries]
The capital of Mexico is not:
- Tijuana
- Cancun
- Margaritaville
Thank you for your attention.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Snowed In
Today was supposed to be a productive day.
I was supposed to go into the college, grade, collect papers, and get organized.
The weather had other plans.
It became a mellow day at home. Not very productive, but I didn't mind.
I am looking forward to tomorrow. I plan on walking around and taking some pictures in the snow.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Avoiding Responsibilities
This semester I quickly fell behind with my grading. Once papers start piling up, it becomes more and more difficult to make the pile shrink.
I intended to grade today - I did manage to be productive yesterday - but it just didn't happen. I didn't even look at a single paper. In some ways, it is better for the students. If I am not focused, I am more irritated. The more irritated I am, the harsher grader I become.
Of course, there is no guarantee that I will be feeling more focused or more charitable tomorrow or the day after. Well, tomorrow I probably won't as I have an exam to give at 8:30 and then I have meetings.
I enabled my procrastination by watching the Charlie Brown Chirstmas special tonight. It had been ages since I watched the special. I had always liked Peanuts and the special (in particular the music). This time around I was amazed by the sophistication of the social commentary in the original special. Sara, who was also watching, turned to me at one point and commented, "This isn't really for kids, is it?" It is also amazing how relevant it is even today's society (it originally aired in 1965).
Sara and I also joked about how all the Peanuts kids would be diagnosed with some disorder today and medicated in one way or another (or removed from their families and placed in foster care). I even think it could be a new holiday party game: diagnose the Peanut kid.
Oh, and the similarity between Snoopy and Zeus are uncanny. Except that Snoopy is afraid of cats...
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sign of the Apocalypse?
It was 62 degrees today. And tomorrow we are supposed to get snow.
I am not complaining about the snow, but I wish the weather would make up its mind.
Today I spent most of my waking hours writing letters of recommendation (what goes around, comes around...it's payback for all of those I asked my profs to write) and grading (I am nearly done with one of my three classes).
Tomorrow I get interviewed by the NY Post. I guess I am one of those rare creatures that has bought a house in recent times. I may use this opportunity as leverage with a little accounting problem we have had with the bank that we got our mortgage through (more on that later).
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Back
The Return
Yes, I have been away. Away in the land of being grown up.
House ownership.
Long-term, permanent work.
Yes, I have been away. Away in the land of being grown up.
House ownership.
Long-term, permanent work.
Short-term consulting gigs.
Politcs and elections.
Unpleasant surprises.
Bills.
You know? Responsibilities.
I am not sure what to make of it all.
It has been a crazy set of months. The fall semester is done - only finals remain and a ton of grading.
I am looking forward to some down time. I need it. The dogs need it. The house needs it.
The house. It is a wonderful place. We were so fortunate on this front. There have been the quirks of owning a new home, but relative to many of the horror stories I have heard, we are doing well. There is still much left to do to make it fully home. There are still many boxes that need to be unpacked. The wonderful thing, though, is that when I unpack a box, I get to throw it away (yes, it goes into recycling). No longer do I need to save it for "the next move." It is such a wonderful feeling.
We are finally getting real furniture. We now have nice leather sectional for the living room, rather than a collection of rescued arm chairs and futons. I ventured out into the Black Friday madness to purchase a bedroom set that was a good buy during one of those early-bird specials. Being able to identify that the sales person was from Nigeria and asking him whether he was Ibo or Yoruba got me free delivery.
Slowly it is becoming ours.
It has been a hectic autumn and my writing - here and elsewhere - has taken a hit.
But I need to return to it - especially elsewhere, but my writing here can be my muse, I hope.
So grab some coffee and be prepared to indulge in my mindless rants, inane observations, and pointless stories. Maybe...
Friday, August 15, 2008
Sold!
Finally! We own our home!
I am exhausted and a bit overwhelmed, but excited as what not.
There is a lot left ahead of us, but we control more of that. No more mystery bank decisions, secret new costs, and general uncertainty.
So this is what a whole lotta money gets you in the New York area.
We are so proud - I am giddy but ready to collapse!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
So -
...we are this close to being home owners.
Tomorrow we do the walk through and Friday is the closing.
Yikes.
Movers come next week, although we have until the end of the month to complete the move.
Things are moving along, but today I had a mild anxiety attack. I have been stressed, nervous, extremely worried, etc. before, but this was different. I suddenly felt shaky and extremely unsettled. It is so hard to describe. It was not triggered by anything in particular. I could not specify what the anxiety was about - it was just there. It lasted about five minutes and then it was gone. I was back to my usual levels of worry, stress, and anxiety.
I hope I never have one of those again.
I must say, that the two most unhealthy things I have done in my life are:
1. Write a dissertation.
2. Buy a house.
I guess the ends justify the results, but my body sure has paid a price for it.
It is going to be an intense couple of days...I hope I survive.
...we are this close to being home owners.
Tomorrow we do the walk through and Friday is the closing.
Yikes.
Movers come next week, although we have until the end of the month to complete the move.
Things are moving along, but today I had a mild anxiety attack. I have been stressed, nervous, extremely worried, etc. before, but this was different. I suddenly felt shaky and extremely unsettled. It is so hard to describe. It was not triggered by anything in particular. I could not specify what the anxiety was about - it was just there. It lasted about five minutes and then it was gone. I was back to my usual levels of worry, stress, and anxiety.
I hope I never have one of those again.
I must say, that the two most unhealthy things I have done in my life are:
1. Write a dissertation.
2. Buy a house.
I guess the ends justify the results, but my body sure has paid a price for it.
It is going to be an intense couple of days...I hope I survive.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Nature Hike
Things have been rather chaotic - the house buying craziness, random jobs, trying to pack, organizing my new office at work.
I did take some time for a nature hike today with the dogs.
I would have liked to have taken more pictures, but it is hard when two dogs are yanking at you wanting to run into a field of poison ivy in search of critters. We did come across an interesting uprooted tree (that wonderful green all around it is poison ivy).
I was fascinated by the twists and knobs in the remains of the roots. It did not come out well, but I did see a creepy face outline in the shadows. Do you see it or is it my over-active imagination?
On the way home we walked past one of the most obscene intersections in Manhattan, which is only a few blocks from where our apartment is!
Over the next couple of weeks we hope to close on the house, pack, move, and stay at least partially sane. Wish us luck...
Things have been rather chaotic - the house buying craziness, random jobs, trying to pack, organizing my new office at work.
I did take some time for a nature hike today with the dogs.
I would have liked to have taken more pictures, but it is hard when two dogs are yanking at you wanting to run into a field of poison ivy in search of critters. We did come across an interesting uprooted tree (that wonderful green all around it is poison ivy).
I was fascinated by the twists and knobs in the remains of the roots. It did not come out well, but I did see a creepy face outline in the shadows. Do you see it or is it my over-active imagination?
On the way home we walked past one of the most obscene intersections in Manhattan, which is only a few blocks from where our apartment is!
Over the next couple of weeks we hope to close on the house, pack, move, and stay at least partially sane. Wish us luck...
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