Thursday, May 25, 2006

Cave Canem

Cave Canem

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Back on the east coast and back to reality.

Reality is a dog one needs to beware of. At least I have a sweetie and two great pups to soften the blow.

I am still looking for something to bring in some money once we move to New York. Moreover, I returned to find out that one of the summer courses I was supposed to teach has been cancelled because of low enrollment. The other course is still on track as far as I know. The problem is that it is the last week in June and the first two in July, which makes trying to make alternate plans more difficult. The silver lining is that the one I still have is the one that pays more.

It is discouraging, though. I have spent the past seven months or so waiting for some good news. I had one brief moment of hope - one interview. The hope was short-lived, though. And the waiting continues. The meter on the left continues to go up and up with no more good news. Soon it will reach its max. As will the disappointment. It is hard not to belittle yourself, your skills, your work. I have avoided that for the most part. I do feel like I have been extremely unlucky or unfortunate. Not that I believe in cosmic forces that bring you good fortune or curse you. Well, maybe I do, but if they exist, I don't believe that they are the ones that people try to influence through various mechanisms.

So what to do? I am not sure. I am aware of the danger of falling down the spiral of self-doubt, frustration, and resignation. I definitely need to keep myself out of that.

I am anxious of all that is coming up.

By the way that vicious dog in the picture is one of my mother's dogs - not the funny looking one, the other one. The mosaic tiles were done by step-father who is a big fan of Roman mosaics and frescos. The original is from Pompeii and now is in a museum in Naples.

More about California a bit later...

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