Saturday, July 01, 2006

This Week Kicked my Butt

This week has left me in a catatonic state. This morning I slept until 10:30, something I never do. I am usually up and about by 8:30 or 9:00 at the latest. This is partly because the dogs will not let me sleep any longer.

Today I tried to recover, but I have been plagued by an anxiety that something somewhere needs to get done. I do have a lot of things to do, a lot of planning for the move, the courses in the fall, packing, etc. But none of those needed to get done today. Yet there I was unable to let it all go on the one hand and listless and unable to get anything done on the other.

I watched the soccer games today, but I lacked any of the enthusiasm and passion I usually have.

Might I be teetering on the edge of depression? Perhaps. All the punches my psyche has taken over the week do take their toll. My emotions and thoughts have not gotten the better of me recently, but there are still dark corners in my mind that are ready to envelop my head when the time is right.

In other news, Sara's father is improving. He is awake and getting out of bed occasionally. There have been a few little set backs, but those are to be expected. The most telling sign, however, is that he is determined to heal and improve. That is probably one of the biggest battles. So often we give in to resignation, especially after an experience like that.

I keep expecting a time to come when life gets easier - even just a little bit. I know it's not coming, but gosh, wouldn't it be nice if it did?

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