Coffee Notes

Starbucks is now giving out instruction booklets on how to order coffee. I will study up, so I will be well prepared the next time I venture into your establishements.

While we are at it, though, here are some instructions for Starbucks:
-Espresso should be drunk from a real cup, not a paper cup.
-So should cappuccino and café late.
-They should only be one size. You want more? Get another one.
-If you really need sizes, just give them normal names (ie. Small, medium, large, bucket, barrel, etc.).
-Fire anyone working there who says “Ex-presso.”
-Try to make all the coffee you sell fair-trade. Your clients, including myself, can afford to pay the extra fifty cents.

One last note about Starbucks. There has been much hoopla about the opening of Starbucks in Paris. I can guarantee you that it will be a cold day in hell when they open one in Italy. Why? Not because of national pride or gastronomic chauvinism. We have seen that did not stop the French. In fact, the Italians would be prime candidates to sit around in their Levi’s, drinking their Venti Carmel Frapuccinos, smoking their Marlboro’s, and complain about globalization. No, the reason they would not go to Starbucks is that they would refuse to pay $1.50 (1.92 euro) for an espresso or $3.00 (3.84 euro) for a cappuccino. Just look at the fuss they made when cafés began to round up prices after the switch from the lira to the euro (from 77 to 80 cents).

Then again, if the Starbucks is the place to be seen to make a bella figura, all bets are off.

[Note: I have been drinking a lot of coffee lately. My limit? About five large cups. I discovered that the other day, the hard way.]