New Theory

My new theory is that our *friend* Osama has already been captured by US forces and he is being kept at an *undisclosed location* (with the vice-president keeping him company? Perhaps). He will be revealed as being captured at the most politically opportune moment. Statisticians have been intensely laboring to see the exact time when such a revelation will create the most fruitful bump in the approval ratings so as to help the president win re-election.

Do I really believe this? No. But I would not be surprised if it were true.