Buying Condoms

My wife recently went off her birth control. This meant that I had to go to the drugstore to buy, um, er, ah....condoms (I even have trouble writing it here). I don't know what it is that makes me so uneasy going out to buy these things. Maybe it is my prudish upbringing in Mexico or perhaps it is the result of the Victorianesque British education. I have no problem buying other, how would you say, uncomfortable items. When my wife needs pads or tampons, I have no problem picking some up on my trip to the grocery store. Athlete's foot ointment - no sweat (sorry about the bad pun). But condoms....

It makes me feel like the whole store is staring down on me. The whole world scrutinizing my sex life...

So I went out to buy some the other day. I got to the section where they sell them and I wandered around to make sure no one else is in the aisle before I turned to examine the choices. The variety was limitless: thin, extra-strenth, extra-sensitive, textured, ribbed, studded, feminine pleasure, X-large, snug (euphamism for small), lubricated, spermicide, flavored, and some downright twisted stuff. My wife had been clear that she did not want spermicide, but beyond that there was no guidance....Yikes! I grabbed a box, found something else to buy (mostly to hide the box of condoms under) and ran to the cashier. When I got home my wife pointed out that I had bought the kind with desensitizing luibricant. "You definitely don't want that!" she exclaimed. Now I had to go back. Oh no! Luckily she volunteered to go with me. Although I could not bring myself about to return some condoms, nor go back to the same drugstore. So we went somewhere else and got the right kind.

My wife cannot undertand why I get so flustered. Honestly, I don't either. It's just one of those things...